#6 When The Going Gets Weird by Mikel K #6


I'm blessed. If life was fair, I'd be dead.

‎"If you have something to do that is worthwhile doing, don't
talk about it, but do it. After you have done it, your friends
and enemies will talk about it."--George W. Blount

He will get by; so will I. And so will you.

Up at 8:51 a.m. I went into the bathroom, this morning, to splash water on my face, looked down and saw my partner Joan's curling iron on the sink. Groggy as heck, I reached down to move the thing, and it bit me: how stupid to have started my day by grabbing the hot end of a heating iron! It was a painful experience that certainly woke me right up. Coffee please!!

I am home from my six day vacation to Panama City, Florida. The turtles tank needs cleaning. Jaggar tore a hole in Joan's stockings, this morning as she was getting ready for work. The cats are always angry when I get home from a vacation. My great neighbor fed the cats, and turtles, and visited with them while I was gone, but I guess that is not enough for the cats. Kobain did not jump on my chest, when I lay down last night, and demand to be petted, and scratched, like he normally does. It is so unlike him. I guess that was his way of having an Occupy Mikel K movement.

It took us five hours to get to Panama City from Atlanta, and 7 /12 hours to get back. We got stuck on some two lane road in Alabama that greatly slowed us down, and we almost lost our life on that road. As we drove north, a car turned off its lights as it approached us, and then, at a million miles an hour, veered towards our lane, just barely missing hitting us us. The car then drove off behind us, in our lane, light-less. What a bummer it would have been to have quit drinking nineteen years, and nine months ago, to die in Alabama at the hands of a drunk driver: a weird kind of Karma maybe?

My friend, Eric Boje, pointed out that whoever was in the car, that veered so dangerously at us, was trying to run us off the road so that they could rob us. Can you imagine? There are people out there willing to kill you in order to take your purse, or wallet.

About ten minutes later, Joan and I pulled into a gas station to ask someone if we were on the right road to Atlanta, or completely lost in the bowels of Alabama. Joan approached the car nearest us, and as she walked to the half open driver's side door, she saw that the man sitting behind the wheel had a handgun on one knee, and was counting hundred dollar bills on the other knee. Joan interrupted the direction of her walk, and asked someone else if we were on the right road home. It was a weird one-two Alabama punch to the gut: nearly being robbed while driving over the speed limit, and running into a gun at a gas station.

At one of the stops that we made, I realized that I was the only man with hair half way to his back, who was wearing a peace sign. I stood out like more than a sore thumb. Spying a police car at one stop I thught to myself how bad it would suck to wind up in an Alabama Jail, boy.

-----------------------------

Memories from The Beach: ‎"Look at The Pelican, on the deck, I said to Joan. She looked, and said, "That's not A Pelican, it's a Blue Herring.". I am such A Nature Boy.

I read on the internet, while at The Beach, that we can, now, buy liquor in Atlanta on Sundays, or rather, that you can. Well, I can buy it, but I won't drink it. This is our last day at The Beach. We have had a great time. I love sand. I love the sea. I do miss, the city, though, and my way of life there. It will be good to reunite with my dogs, cats, and turtles.

--------------------

This morning, as I ate, I entered the item that I ate into a calorie counter.
When I reached 348 calories, I stopped eating.

In jail, back when you could smoke in jail,
they used to say, "Smoke 'em if you got "em,"
indicating that a smoke break was at hand.

I have not been in jail in over twenty years,
about the length of time that I have not had
a drink, and I don't know what brought this
thought to mind. Who knows what triggers
different thoughts that we have?

--------------------------------------------

We've to carry each other, Sister and Brother,
the load for you is easier if you share it with me

--------------------------------------------

I need a printer that will love me

I need a printer that won't
suck down such expensive ink.
I need a printer that won't
stink up the process
when I try to print a poem.
I need a printer that won't
confuse me.
I need a printer that will
work for me.
I don't need a printer
that will piss me off.
I want to toss this one
out into the road
and watch the cars
mow it down.

---------------------------------
We used to sing Christmas Carols in July

Somebody has been cooking in my kitchen,
but you can't have a bowl of my soup;
you've grown too distant, though you are not
very far away.

I remember when we grew tomatoes in the same garden.
Now that garden lays untouched even in the spring.
We use to sing Christmas Carols in July,
now I just wave at you from my jet plane.

-------------------------------------------
Nine to Five

I need a job.
I need a bag of pot,
and not necessarily in that order.
I need a job
like I need a hole in the head,
some man or woman giving me shit
for seven or eight bucks an hour.
I need power over my own life,
that dollar bill always tugging at me.
I need love.
I need inspiration.
I need a new Tom Petty album;
I guess you can only mostly
download them, these days.

I need a job.
I need a bag of pot,
and not necessarily in that order.

------------------------------
Public Figure

You are not here when I suffer.
You are not here when I go through
my my moments of doubt and pain.

-----------------------------

Mr Fix It

When you're lost and you can't find
your way out of the storm.
When you're unhappy, and that just isn't your norm.
When you wish that you were with your baby,
and that he was keeping you warm.
When all doors are slammed shut, and your key don't fit.
When God seems like an evil demon,
think of me, and I'll be home soon.
I'll meet you in the kitchen,
and we'll soon head to the bed room.

I love your pancakes.
I love your homemade tea.
I love most everything you do to me.

-------------------------------
I am unsatisfied, this morning,
with three dinky tablespoons of milk
in my coffee. I want to pour
a quarter cup of half and half in.
-------------------------------

--Mikel K