“God has no religion”--Mahatma Gandhi

I feel tense, and nuerotic, today, as I often do when the utility bill is due, and I see no way to pay it.

Sometimes, I think that taking my trash out is a pain in the ass, and all I have to do is wheel a couple of garbage cans a few feet from where they sit to the side of the road. I just watched my neighbor push his full trashcan down the flight of stairs that fronts his house. No matter how bad you think that you've got it, somebody always has it worse!

I wish that I had something historic to report, but I don't. Monkey, the basically stray cat, is rolling around in the shade of my next door neighbor's driveway. I figure that there are at least six people that feed Monkey. That cat has sure carved a unique life for herself.

Shawtie is irritating me, as usual, barking at everything: lawnmower racket, planes in the air, people, and people with dogs, who walk by, and invisible butterflies.

Morisson is visiting with The Good Neighbor: it is quiet on her side of the abode except for the sound of her stereo which is kicking out the soothing sound of The New Riders of The Purple Sage.

I have, the past couple of days, been yearning to be somewhere other than where I be; but I don't know where that somewhere is. The grass is always greener. I'm glad that I rent, and don't have to cut the lawn.

Morrison, and I, just took a long walk to the new part of Piedmont Park. It is amazing to see what they have done. We did not find the fountains that you can frolic in. Morison was kind of uncooperative on this walk; he wanted to pee on every pole, and under every tree. I'll have to work on that behavior.

I don't want this night to end. I want it to last forever. I want to feel this breeze upon me for eternity. I want Kitty Poo to come back on the porch; she ran off when the door was open.

You might tell me that I can not do something, but I won't listen to you, and I will do it because it is the only thing in this life that I have ever wanted to do. I have dreamed it. I am living it, and you can't take it away from me.

I'm going to eat some celery, and then go to bed. I am so thankful to have lived today, and look forward to tomorrow. Good Night. Sweet Dreams. I love you.

I'm not sure what time I woke up, this morning, but it was about an hour ago, and it is, now, 10:41 am. I opened my door so that the cats, and dogs can wander back, and forth, from the apartment to The Love Porch. This is the first time in the three years that I have lived here that I have done this. The Good Neighbor's door is also open, so the cats and dogs from each apartment can wander back and forth freely. This is an experiment in semi-communal living. It is a hippy thing!!

The sound of a hammer hitting the side of a house catches my attention, as classical music wafts from my neighbor's living room into my ear. Three of the dogs are passed out at my feet. The cats are on my neighbor's porch trying to figure out if they can survive the jump, and escape from me. All the love that I have given them over the years, and with the first opportunity they would be gone to the great out doors.

"I'll never be your beast of burden."--Mick Jagger

You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before."--Alanis Morissette

It's another night on The Love Porch with the dogs; five of them tonight. Shawtie, my guest for another week, is irritating me. I don't know what she is barking at, but, at times, like now, she barks near constantly. I think that the poor dog is scared of the invisible butterflies that Henry often barks at. Jackson Browne is my soundtrack. Tonight, I kind of feel like I am missing out on The Big Time. Oh big time where are you?!

It's hard to pet five dogs, but I am trying, and so are they.

Almost cut my hair; happened just the other day(not).

It is always nice when you are about to get yourself into a bad situation to have those moments of clear thinking that save you. I had such moments today with regards to moving in at the first of the next month with a young lady whom I have been dating. My motives were mostly wrong. My karma would have been fucked, and I would have made both her, and I, miserable. My landlady let me keep this ole apartment that I had given her notice on. She said, "Yes," in her reply to my query as to whether i could keep it, and then she said, "Hell Yes," in her email, which was really nice. It is nice to feel wanted, and not my The Marshalls because they have a felony warrant on you.

Bundy needs more attention than I can give him tonight. I am lonely myself, needing someone to pat me on the head, and say that I am good. I am in a relationship, right now, where I don't feel good. There is a simple solution: get out of the relationship, and I am.


Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and they all stink.

What displeases one, will please another...you have to march forward no matter what; if it is what you have in you...in your heart and soul.

Henry has gone to bed; Dylan, Morisson, and Shawtie are waiting for me to come inside. The Love Porch is lovely tonight; some bug is making noise, and in the far distance I can hear a motorcycle rushing through the night. The Big Time did not arrive, today, but that is ok. I had a pleasant day, and I come from a past full of days that were not pleasant. Amen, brothers and sisters. Amen.

My name is Mikel, and I have issues with Anger.

What might be the cause(s) of my anger?

Remember that something is triggering angry feelings and behaviors. To assess, it helps to think through details carefully: what are the facts of the situation? What is there about the situation that feels unjust, unacceptable, dangerous or unacceptable? What trigger thoughts am I having?

I do not have to permit an amygdala hijacking because I can recognize symptomatic feelings. I want to stay in my cortex by being calm and rational. I do not want to damage my relationship or someone else’s emotional health. I want to keep my cool and preserve my integrity even if it means walking away from this situation. (1)


(1)http://lakesideconnect.com/anger-and-violence/what-are-some-strategies-for-dealing-with-anger/?gclid=CJzEgLSqjKsCFdwg2godcml1xg

I'm not happy about losing my temper the other day. I didn't yell and scream at my Love, but
I did show her anger. I have shown her anger several times in our short relationship. I know that I can't blame her for that, but why is it that I don't get angry at other females in my lufe, and just her?

In essence, I can have the power to behave in a calm and respectful way.

Tomorrow I will make chili, my World Famous Chili. This batch is going to have sausage, and shrimp in it. I can not tell you how good that it is going to be. The other night, a friend read to me from a horoscope book the traits of a Gemini. Geminis have a lot of awful things going on about them. It makes me sad because I am a Gemini.

"We can teach ourselves to think logically, and deliberately."
--Malcolm Gladwell, "Blink."

This is good news. This is really good to know, but where do I go to learn?

I just spent a half hour on The Love Porch looking for my reading glasses only to find them in their case next to my computer. When did I start putting things where they are supposed to be?

Up at 4:22 I took the dogs for a walk right away. They seemed to have an excess energy that I wanted to work out of them. My plan seems to have worked: they are laying on the floor, now, quietly. I was hungry, so I made cheese nachos, cheese, and chips, being, basically, all I have to work with, right now. I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful to be taking part in this new day. I am thankful for you being in my life. Amen.

Tomorrow I will make chili, my World Famous Chili. This batch is going to have sausage, and shrimp in it. I can not tell you how good that it is going to be. the other night, a friend read to me from a horoscope book the traits of a Gemini. Geminis have a lot of awful things going on about them. It makes me sad.

I drank my coffee way too fast, this morning, and am contemplating a second cup. It is a normal morning here: the cats have been fed, the dogs are about to be taken out, the turtles' light has been turned on. Do I turn you on?

The batch of chili that I am making, right now, is loaded with sausage, and shrimp. Yummy. It also has onions, green, and red, peppers; black beans, kidney beans, hot chili beans, and a large can of diced tomatoes. I have seasoned it with plenty of garlic powder, and sriracha hot chili sauce. My mouth is watering as I write this.

I'm looking for a job. I am always looking for a job, and I will always be looking for a job.

I just had a bowl of my awesome chili; I'm now drinking some of my awesome coffee, and I'm sitting on the awesome Love Porch reading an awesome book, with my awesome dog, Morisson, waiting for The Big Time.

Headphones help me learn a band: I am digging Widespread Panic more than I ever have with the headphones on, and just got some new appreciation for Phish via the same mechanism. I am an emerging hippy, recovering punk rocker.

‎4:58...After listening to Phish, and Widespread Panic, I got a craving for ELO. Living is a trip. What is next after this trip? Nothing? Heaven? Hell? Reincarnation. Will I come back as a subway train, or as a dog on the streets of India begging for food? Evil Woman is coming to me.

Love will show us the way

There is nothing inside me, tonight, that wants to come out in the form of poems.

I am pissed off that my dear lady is three hours late in appearing at my door. The last that I heard from her, around 6 pm, when she was supposed to be here at five pm, was that, "A man from The Church had dropped by with another man," and she was using them to do some heavy lifting for her.

I don't like being blown off, and could care fucking less that the man was from "The Church." Does she not think that men from the church sin also, murder, rape, steal? I am debating not answering the door when she finally shows up, let her sit on the porch and phone me to no avail, and then drive the half hour drive back to her home. I mean my fucking time is as important as hers; isn't it?

I am supposed to start living in sin with this woman the first of next month. Am I suited to couple?

I blew up at Love. What is all this horseshit that I preach on my page about restraint of tongue, and pen? When I feel that I have been wronged I go off like a double barreled shot gun, and then I have to pay the repercussions of my own behavior. Lord, guide me in situations like this.


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I waited around, tonight, for three and a half hours because some man "from the church" showed up at my significant other's door, as she was, supposedly, getting ready to come see me. "I'll be there around five," she had said. It's 8:30, and she just called to say that the man, and his non-church buddy, just left. You must be fucking kidding me.

"I didn't want to be rude," she said, and I said, "What about me? You were fucking rude to me to leave me waiting around three, and a half hours."

She really had nothing else to say about that except that maybe she wasn't coming over. I hung up on her, and didn't answer the phone the number of times that she dialed my number. Stay home. I'm not really in the mood for company now anyway.

I waited around, tonight, for three and a half hours because some man "from the church" showed up at my significant other's door, as she was, supposedly, getting ready to come see me. "I'll be there around five," she had said. It's 8:30, and she just called to say that the man, and his non-church buddy, just left. You must be fucking kidding me.

"I didn't want to be rude," she said, and I said, "What about me? You were fucking rude to me to leave me waiting around three, and a half hours."

She really had nothing else to say about that except that maybe she wasn't coming over. I hung up on her, and didn't answer the phone the number of times that she dialed my number. Stay home. I'm not really in the mood for company now anyway.

I don't react well to threats, be they from a boss at work, or from a lover. If a boss says, "I will fire you, if you don't produce," I will quit on him. If a lover threatens that she will, "go home," instead of coming over to my home, I let her go home. It is pretty simple, really. I grew up with threats; eighteen years of them from my father, and threats in the school yard that I was not equipped to retaliate to. I am, now, equipped to deal with threats.

I don't react well to threats, be they from a boss at work, or from a lover. If a boss says, "I will fire you, if you don't produce," I will quit on him. If a lover threatens that she will, "go home," instead of coming over to my home, I let her go home. It is pretty simple, really. I grew up with threats; eighteen years of them from my father, and threats in the school yard that I was not equipped to retaliate to. I am, now, equipped to deal with threats.

I blew up at Love. What is all this horseshit that I preach on my page about restraint of tongue, and pen? When I feel that I have been wronged I go off like a double barreled shot gun, and then I have to pay the repercussions of my own behavior. Lord, guide me in situations like this.

What is more important: her carpet or my kitty litter box? I know that it is an imposition to move in with my cats, but what can I do. I love these two animals: Kobain, and Jaggar, and they have a great affection for me. I am sure that this will, somehow, work itself out. Love will show us the way.

Is it wise for a woman to let a bi-polar man move into her house. I am pretty stable, but there are moments when I can be unreasonable, and she is a fairly emotional woman, prone to cyring outbursts. Love will show us the way.

AGENTS

I really can't see how a Literary Agent could be so busy as to take "six to eight weeks" to respond to a query letter.

That is what one agent is saying. I got a response the other day, saying "no," the other day, in about 30 seconds. That same agent sent me another "no," today and this one was a little bit politer; go figure!